The Not-So-Glamorous Ways That My Life Is Like A Movie

April 22, 2014

If you are familiar with the very popular screenplay how-to book, “Save The Cat!”, you will know about the concept of “Six Things That Need Fixing”. For a screenwriter, these are the flaws or quirks you would write into the main character that subtly show themselves in the first act of a movie. Obviously, this [...]

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Oops, I did it again (with apologies to B. Spears)

April 4, 2014

Do you see this? You know what it is, right? That’s right. It’s a Girl Scout Cookie Order Form. A blank one, obviously. Kind of like the Girl Scout Cookie Form in my home. Which is not blank, in fact is so not blank that it holds the names of 100 people who ordered Girl [...]

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All Hail My Erma Bom-Bust

March 18, 2014

Well, it’s that time again, folks! The time when I publish my non-winning Erma Bombeck essay and congratulate all the winners. Enjoy this and if you have time, hop over to my friend Ann’s hilarious also-non-winning essay on Ann’s Rants. Booyah! ********************************** 50 is the new 50 I just heard of a study that says [...]

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Worst Date Ever. Swear.

February 14, 2014

This tragic tale is part of the “Worst Date Ever” blog hop, started by the widely-dated Nancy Kho of Midlife Mixtape. See below to hop around and read other tales of woe. And here’s to marriage, btw. Oh, my friends, when I was presented with this topic, I had a veritable smorgasbord of cruddy evenings [...]

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My spice cabinet is judging me.

February 5, 2014

I found this in my spice cabinet yesterday. The cheapest gucci bag, see more here if you want one. I thought it was bread crumbs. I needed bread crumbs and so I decided that these were bread crumbs. I went so far as to slice the raw chicken and dip it in egg, as if [...]

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#WhereILivedWednesday 1st Street & 1st Avenue

January 23, 2014

This post is part of the series #WhereILivedWednesday started by my dear friend Ann Imig of Ann’s Rants, so head on over there and read all the memories of former domiciles. “First & First”, we called it. In 1990, the cross-street of First Street and First Avenue was not only not the hipster land it [...]

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Let’s get beautiful with the crap lying around your house

January 17, 2014

“Microdermabrasion”? With that many syllables, it’s gotta be good! Bargain Basement Beauty 3 on NickMom from me and the always smooth-skinned Wendi Aarons, honestly I like to look for Real testimonials before buying a product when it comes to my skin. So I have mold in some places of my home, I did some research [...]

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Thanks so much for introducing our children to the Zombie Apocalypse

January 15, 2014

THE TOP TEN REASONS I’M PEEVED WITH MY HUSBAND FOR LETTING OUR CHILDREN WATCH “THE WALKING DEAD” MARATHON 10. I leave the house for ONE DAY IN THE PAST FOUR YEARS and this is what you come up with? 9. I distinctly recall saying “Play Monopoly”, not “acquaint our children with the infectious flesh-eating undead”. [...]

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Ring Around The Wha?

January 6, 2014

It seems that I have a mini female Tim Burton on my hands. Following the raging success of her horror novella, Good Luck Bella, my daughter has already changed her medium to film. I hope you will enjoy her “Ring O’ Roses”. Just don’t plan on sleeping tonight.

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A Little Bit Pregnant

December 21, 2013

We already know that one can be a lot pregnant. But there’s an old saying, “you can’t be a little bit pregnant”. I beg to differ. Oh, don’t get excited. We all know I’m not talking about my literal womb, since I’ve (unfortunately) frequently (with apologies) written about my menopausal state. You see, there are [...]

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