Dudes, it is 2013. I was born in 1963. Do the math.
So as I approach my half-century mark, not only are there super fun things to look forward to like osteoporosis, but I just found out about yet another groovy condition for the over-50 crowd.
Exploding Head Syndrome.
Exploding Head Syndrome is a condition where you suddenly experience an abnormally loud noise (likened to an explosion, roar, gunshot, a door slamming or voices screaming) coming from inside your own head while sleeping.
Coming from inside your own head while you’re sleeping.
Apparently, it’s not enough that there will be doors slamming in real life as my children progress into their teen years, but there may also be doors slamming while everyone in the house is asleep, myself included.
Of course, I may be lucky and just get wild jungle animals roaring or detonated TNT in my brain.
Or voices screaming. And what might they be screaming, I wonder?
“YOU’RE FIFTY AND YOUR HEAD IS EXPLODING!”
“TIME TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR A COLONOSCOPY!”
“AARP HAS VERY REASONABLE RATES ON LIFE INSURANCE!”
“YOU DON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RETINOL AND ALPHA HYDROXY?!”
“YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TAKEN THAT MONEY OUT OF YOUR 401(K)!”
“ARE THERE ANY COOL-LOOKING NECK CHAINS FOR READING GLASSES?!”
“LARRY THE CABLE GUY IS ALSO TURNING 50 THIS YEAR!”
“BUT SO IS JOHNNY DEPP!”
“THIS IS THE YEAR TO STOP GOOGLING ‘WEIRD DISEASES’!”
Hey, if the voices in your head are screaming “More Dusty!” head on over to In The Powder Room where I take on the topic of mothers who appear to be heating up their glue guns to make their kid’s school project for them in Judge Not (Especially Not Other Breeders).