8. Mama Rose just hung this sign in her home.
7. Mama Rose let us escape our heatless home and made an entire Thanksgiving dinner for us on two days’ notice.
6. If I ever need a pair of reading glasses, or twenty-seven pairs, I know that Mama Rose will be on it.
5. Mama Rose hangs out with her priest, Father Mike, and Father Mike is so cool that he even managed to eat his Thanksgiving Dinner ten minutes after my dogs crapped on the carpet right in front of him.
4. Mama Rose allowed my dogs to stay at her house after they crapped on the white carpet thirty seconds after they walked in the door, even though she did have them imprisoned for their crimes.
3. Mama Rose lets my kids watch TV for hours and hours and at an eyesight-destroying distance, which officially makes her my children’s favorite person.
2. Mama Rose gave us her minivan, which is the only automobile on planet Earth that my son does not vomit in, and which also has roses painted on the back end so that we can find it in crowded parking lots.
1. Mama Rose actually let the pugs back in the house after they crapped on her white carpet. You know, as long as they wore their diapers.