The Girl Scout Camping Guide for sleeping in 27 degree weather

by Shari on October 16, 2012

1. The Girl Scouts’ motto is “Be prepared.”
As in “Be prepared to say ‘no freakin’ way’ when your co-leader says ‘hey, let’s go camping in unheated tents in the middle of October in the woods which will be totally fine because you and I will be in the counselor’s cabin which is also unheated but you will forget I said that until we get there.’”

2. The Girl Scouts’ creed is “Do a good turn daily.”
As in “Do a good 180 degree turn with your rented van and head back to civilization when you reach the campsite at 8pm and it’s already suspiciously unseasonably cold and pitch black but not so dark that you can’t see that not only is the counselor’s cabin unheated it also has a screen door.”

3. The Girl Scout Law says “I will do my best to use resources wisely.”
As in “I will do my best to wear every single piece of clothing that I brought for the entire weekend including my down winter coat all at one time in incredibly uncomfortable layers with the final layer being my sleeping bag but I’m still so unbelievably cold that when I do manage to fitfully sleep I dream that I am lost in the Arctic and have to cannibalize my co-leader’s flesh in order to survive.”

4. The Girl Scout Law says “I will be responsible for what I say and do.”
As in “I will take responsibility for the fact that I had a folding knife or a package of foot warmers in my backpack from a skiing trip in ’08 and I kept them in my backpack for four years because I kept thinking ‘I’m going to need these for something’ and then I took them out of my backpack two months ago because I thought ‘I’ve had these stupid things in my backpack for four years and I’ve never used them so I’m putting them in the Goodwill box’ and now as I lay here succumbing to hypothermia staring at that backpack all I can think about is if those stupid foot warmers were still in there I wouldn’t be having dreams that I am in the Donner Party stranded in the Sierra Nevada in a blizzard and I have to eat my co-leader.”

5. The Girl Scout version of “He’s Got The Whole World in His Hands” says “He’s got the lovely lovely leaders in His hands.”
As in “If He’s really got me in his hands, I wish He was wearing gloves.”

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Shannon October 16, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Did you at least bring along some thin mints?

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Shari October 16, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Hmmm. That probably would have helped, Shannon. Will remember this if my co-leader tries to persuade me to do January camping.

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Mary Kay October 17, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Been there done that – only difference was it was training for the leaders so we could take our girls camping and the first night – there was rain and thunder – YAY!

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Shari October 17, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I was terrified it was going to rain, because it would not have been rain, it would have been snow. It was that cold. In October! I have been known to exaggerate at times (ahem), but this is not one of them. 27 degrees!!!!

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Alexandra October 17, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Dusty, I shivered to death and cried while I read this.

Please.

Let’s never blog of this again.

My Andean DNA … brrrrrr ….

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dusty earth mother October 18, 2012 at 3:22 am

Shall never pass my bloggy lips again, Empress.

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The Flying Chalupa October 17, 2012 at 10:15 pm

As someone with poor circulation whose hands and feet freeze JUST when washing up for bed (I know, it’s so sad), I feel for you. Or not. Because my limbs are usually numb.

ps – this sounded like the Blair Witch Project On Ice.

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dusty earth mother October 18, 2012 at 3:23 am

That’s EXACTLY what it was, Tarja. All I needed was the video camera in my face to say a frozen goodbye to my family.

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Trickiewoo October 18, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Told our troop leader i could suck it up anywhere for two nights.
You just changed my mind.

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dusty earth mother October 19, 2012 at 2:39 am

This is my job in life: to crush the camping dreams of small girls and British adults.

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Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom October 19, 2012 at 2:00 am

I was a girl scout. “On my honor…I will try…not to allow my teeth to chatter as I serve God and my country.” That’s how it goes, right?

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dusty earth mother October 19, 2012 at 2:40 am

That’s it. “And to help people at all times… to leave the foot warmers in their bags…”

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Ann October 22, 2012 at 2:16 am

Where was Neil Diamond when you needed him??

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