CHANDY: Well, lady, I hope you had a good time over the weekend, drinking frosty cocktails in an air-conditioned hotel while we suffered here in the heat.
SCHILLING: I missed you. Look at my sad face. That's from missing you.
CHANDY: One cube. One ice cube in the water bowl would have made all the difference. It was like drinking lava.
SCHILLING: I'm standing as close to you as I can. Pick me up. I want to lick you until your skin falls off.
CHANDY: But enough about our anguish. Because you spending two full days learning SEO tactics is far more important.
SCHILLING: Is it bedtime yet? I want to snuggle you until you scream for mercy.
CHANDY: Did you bring us any swag? One of those little custom-made sausage dishes from the Hillshire Farm booth would have been nice. Is that too much to ask, one sausage and one ice cube?
SCHILLING: I want to die in your arms. Hope that's okay.
CHANDY: How was the Voice of the Year keynote? We heard from Twitter that Liz made people cry and Dresden was really powerful. Oh, and that Neil was hilarious, but some people were mad because he's a guy.
SCHILLING: I'm a guy. A guy who loves a girl. You're the girl.
CHANDY: But you probably didn't pay attention to the other readers, because you were too busy getting ready to "kill" with your piece. Which is kind of ironic, since you almost "killed" me with the burning sulfur in my water bowl. You couldn't tell that guy you married to drop in one ice cube?
SCHILLING: I'm a guy. Marry me.
********************
Oh, but I was paying attention, Chandy. Please check out the rest of the incredible readers from The Voice of the Year keynote 2012: Elizabeth Jayne Liu in Humor, Jane Byers Goodwin and Varda Steinhardt in Heart, Issa Mas, Lori Volkman and Vikki Reich in Identity, Arnebya Herndon and Suzanne Barston in OpEd, and Barbara Becker, Susan Goldberg and Jenny Feldon in Parenting.
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
Perfect.
Is it possible that your guys were Skyping with my guys while we were gone? Kindred fur spirits.
I would not put it past Chandy to know how to Skype, Lisa. She’s scary that way.
Your pugs skype me.
I’m glad it’s out now.
xo
I MISS YOU, Shari. Next year: the roommates of the decade again.
I love this imagined conversation between your fur-kids. The ice cubes and marriage ideas are super funny!
If pugs were capable of emotive facial expression I might believe they missed you.
I have a chihuahua which is also a goofy breed. Not pug-goofy, but still goofy.
If pugs were capable of emotive facial expression I might believe they missed you.
I have a chihuahua which is also a goofy breed. Not pug-goofy, but still goofy.
Love. This.
Yup that sounds just about right from those two.
Loved your reading at Voice of the Year. And how you have a reader for life.
they’re just jealous because they don’t have opposable thumbs & wouldn’t be able to hold a speech. Sour grapes, is what.
How do you do this to me? How do you make me laugh and want to slap you at the same time? I want your genius and hilarity. Give it to me! I’m struggling to take it .. ahh … ahhugh .. shit. I’m too tired to wrench it away with my covetous ambition. I’m going to bed, but not before I tell you I love you. Perhaps not as much as Chandy and I know we only spoke ten minutes, but I do. Also I’m going to send you a picture of my porcine, outraged cat. I walked in with my suitcases to discover she’d peed on my pillow. Sigh.
And kill you did woman. Now come over here and give me my ice cube.
Next time I’m going to write your name on a poster board and wait until you see it so I can actually meet you. Kidding! The love-sick faces on your pug children seem completely appropriate. Love their witty banter.
How did we miss each other, MissIndeedy??!(alliteration intended)
So I’m not the only one who puts ice cubes in my dog’s water bowl. Well, it is right by the refrigerator and I am very clumsy with the ice. What better to do with the cubes that land on the floor? Too funny and a couple of great faces. Congrats on you VOY.
Aha! Just minutes ago, I replenished our bowl with the almighty cubes. I’ll bet Chandy & Schilling were happy with their Petsmart swag. My guys (Panch & Lefty and Xiu Xiu) were all over those greenies but I don’t think they were too jazzed at the prospect of another Halloween costume!
No! No! I’m not Mod Mo! Nor Mod Mop as it said before I deleted the P. Stupid smart phone! Mod Mom…. Okay. That’s all.
Schilling worries me. That’s all I’m going to say.
Oh, Nancy. Yes.
I would have loved to hear you Dusty! I bet you were amazing! Them dogs are totally trying to keep you from your fans.
You are so right, Chalup. Especially Schilling. He would kidnap me and hide me in the basement if he could.
Their faces are too precious.
Oh how I missed you too! I’m thinking that Schilly needs to read Co-dependent no more – in prep for your next trip!
Ordering a copy for him now, Kathy.
I really loved that, so thanks for the laughs. Your pugs are adorable. I babysat my friend’s pug, and it took him all of two days to think that I belonged to him and was only provided to this world for his comfort.
Yep, Hillary, thats a true pug!