CHANDY: Well, lady, I hope you had a good time over the weekend, drinking frosty cocktails in an air-conditioned hotel while we suffered here in the heat.
SCHILLING: I missed you. Look at my sad face. That's from missing you.
CHANDY: One cube. One ice cube in the water bowl would have made all the difference. It was like drinking lava.
SCHILLING: I'm standing as close to you as I can. Pick me up. I want to lick you until your skin falls off.
CHANDY: But enough about our anguish. Because you spending two full days learning SEO tactics is far more important.
SCHILLING: Is it bedtime yet? I want to snuggle you until you scream for mercy.
CHANDY: Did you bring us any swag? One of those little custom-made sausage dishes from the Hillshire Farm booth would have been nice. Is that too much to ask, one sausage and one ice cube?
SCHILLING: I want to die in your arms. Hope that's okay.
CHANDY: How was the Voice of the Year keynote? We heard from Twitter that Liz made people cry and Dresden was really powerful. Oh, and that Neil was hilarious, but some people were mad because he's a guy.
SCHILLING: I'm a guy. A guy who loves a girl. You're the girl.
CHANDY: But you probably didn't pay attention to the other readers, because you were too busy getting ready to "kill" with your piece. Which is kind of ironic, since you almost "killed" me with the burning sulfur in my water bowl. You couldn't tell that guy you married to drop in one ice cube?
SCHILLING: I'm a guy. Marry me.
Oh, but I was paying attention, Chandy. Please check out the rest of the incredible readers from The Voice of the Year keynote 2012: Elizabeth Jayne Liu in Humor, Jane Byers Goodwin and Varda Steinhardt in Heart, Issa Mas, Lori Volkman and Vikki Reich in Identity, Arnebya Herndon and Suzanne Barston in OpEd, and Barbara Becker, Susan Goldberg and Jenny Feldon in Parenting.