How to teach your kids the value of money. (a pictorial)

by Shari on August 12, 2012


1. In a fit of caffeine-powered pique, decide to make your children learn about  fiscal responsibility and what is a bad credit score with a home business. Purchase an Easy-to-Assemble Lemonade Stand at the CVS. Leave it in the box for six weeks while you continue to give your children allowance for doing absolutely nothing. You can guide them by reading Lee Rosen Miami‘s blog about business.


2. Wake up with a raging headache that you are certain is due to fiscal guilt, take a megadose of Bayer Migraine. When the caffeine kicks in, shout “TODAY WE’RE GOING TO LEARN THE VALUE OF MONEY, KIDS!” Make your husband, who does not need caffeine to be enthusiastic about fiscal responsibility, put the lemonade stand together.


3. Realize that your Easy-To-Assemble Lemonade Stand is missing a piece, which makes it a Pain-In-The-Butt-To-Assemble Lemonade Stand. Rant for a few moments about value, company pride, and gas money required to return the crap vs. improvisation using free crap lying around the house. Improvise using free crap lying around the house.


4. Realize that while you were ranting, your child climbed into a box. Commend your child for having free, old-fashioned fun, but remove her from box.


5. Make some yummy, top-notch product. Drink half your profits before you even get outside. Lecture children about not drinking half your profits before you even get outside.


6. Do Not Eat the anti-humidity packets found at the bottom of the Pain-In-The-Butt-to-Assemble Lemonade Stand box, even though they are free and feel like a crunchy snack.


7. Sell your wares proudly. Make ten whole dollars.


8. Blow all your profits on ice cream. Ask children if the ice cream tasted better because they earned it. Feel very proud of yourself when they say “Uh… I guess.” Pretend, for one blissful night, that you will not go back to giving them allowance tomorrow for doing absolutely nothing.


{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Ann August 12, 2012 at 6:38 pm

I love you and your punkassjerryriggedpizzabox lemonade stand, Shari.


dusty earth mother August 12, 2012 at 8:22 pm

I love you right back, Sconnie.


Delfin Joaquin Paris III August 12, 2012 at 10:10 pm

I’m actually quite mad at you. Why you didn’t go out of your way to make sure I became a reader sooner is unacceptable.
This is great shit.
I respectfully bow to you. Oh wait, you girls curtsy, right? Well, I won’t do that! I’m a man, dammit!


dusty earth mother August 13, 2012 at 6:29 am

I know, DJ, I was holding out on you. It was cruel on my part. Please forgive, dear fellow.


Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom August 13, 2012 at 6:49 am

“…lemonade…that cool refreshing drink…” I still have to sing that whenever lemonade is involved. Your kids are adorable. And I have a special fondness for your daughter’s cute pug shirt. Hurray for fiscal responsibility!!


Anna Lefler August 13, 2012 at 7:42 am

Dang – this is an excellent pictorial summation of my OWN fiscal plans! Whee!
Also – I’m a huge fan of free stuff lying around the house. Word.
Fabulous! *pucker*


dusty earth mother August 13, 2012 at 7:49 am

I knew you would like that shirt, Mod Mo. Im calling you Mod Mo from now on–it will be my pet name for you.


dusty earth mother August 13, 2012 at 7:50 am

Word up, Anna. We should teach a financial workshop together.


Kimberly August 13, 2012 at 9:29 am

Your kids are adorable. And good for them for making some money on their own! I loved having lemonade stands as a kid (although they were often Kool-Aid stands). We had so many kids on our street that it was a great way to make money.


Lady Jennie August 13, 2012 at 11:18 am

Yum. I would like some ice cold lemonade. Do you ship?


dusty earth mother August 13, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Thanks, Kimberly, they are pretty darn cute, the lazy little bums :-)


dusty earth mother August 13, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Yes. We do. $100. What a bargain, right?


the mama bird diaries August 14, 2012 at 7:41 pm

So cute!! I want to do that!
I stopped giving allowance for chores and started telling my kids that they do chores because they are part of a family.


dusty earth mother August 14, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Yes. This is a very smart thing to do. So listen, you already have four kids, you wouldnt even notice if you had two more, right?


Marinka August 15, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I’m going to need one of those lemonade stands because I really like ice cream.


Nancy August 15, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Is there really anything else to say?


Cristie Ritz King August 16, 2012 at 7:51 am

The pizza box is without a doubt my favorite part.


Shannon Bradley-Colleary August 16, 2012 at 1:50 pm

children are born grifters. be wary of the long con.


dusty earth mother August 17, 2012 at 4:59 am

Mine too, Cristie.


dusty earth mother August 17, 2012 at 5:00 am

Taking note. Thanks for the tip, Woman Known as Presently Beautiful.


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