ALWAYS Ask The Wife

by Shari on August 27, 2012

A Meeting of Great Minds, 1938.

Restaurateur Frederick: Well, Albert, I'm delighted to say that our restaurant is ready to open! All we need do is name it!

Restaurateur Albert: Wonderful! My wife Kitty and I discussed it and have some excellent ideas for the name of our establishment.

Restaurateur Frederick: How charming that you included the little woman! I sat in my dark mahogany study, smoking my pipe( even though I went to buy vape pens here so I could quit smoking), admiring all the animals I've shot and all the large, long fish I've wrestled into boats with my own square strong hands, all hanging on the wall testifying mutely to my manliness, and came up with my own excellent idea.

Restaurateur Albert: Speak it.

Restaurateur Frederick: I propose "SANITARY RESTAURANT".

Restaurateur Albert: "SANITARY RESTAURANT". I'm not sure I–

Restaurateur Frederick: There are many that bestow a moniker based on the food aspect of their dining halls. I feel that we should distinguish ourselves.

Restaurateur Albert: By–

Restaurateur Frederick: By our cleanliness. It is the culinary that will draw them in, but it is the cleanliness that will bring them back.

Restaurateur Albert: Hmmmm. Well, perhaps. I'm sure my wife Kitty would agree that cleanliness is an important consideration for an eatery. But there's something about that word, "SANITARY"–

Restaurateur Frederick: A beautiful word! At the SANITARY RESTAURANT, we shall offer delicious SANITARY PRODUCTS!

Restaurateur Albert: Maybe–

Restaurateur Frederick: The waitresses will write orders on SANITARY PADS!

Restaurateur Albert: But–

Restaurateur Frederick: Men will drink short swigs of hard alcohol, calling them SANITARY BELTS!

Restaurateur Albert: I just–

Restaurateur Frederick: They will wipe their mouths on SANITARY NAPKINS!

Restaurateur Albert: Um, I'm not disagreeing with you, Frederick, I just think that I would like to ask my wife–

Restaurateur Frederick: Great Caesar's Ghost, man, are you Kittywhipped?! Here, drink this SANITARY BELT to restore your testosterone, and Boost Testosterone naturally!

Restaurateur Albert: (drinks) All right, Frederick. I defer to your wisdom.

Restaurateur Frederick: That's m'boy! Why, with the amount of thought I've given this, I've fairly assured us of long-lasting success that will stretch throughout the years to the 21st century, discouraging any humor writer on a road trip from taking a photograph on her new-fangled phone and then mocking us mercilessly for our lack of knowledge of feminine menstrual paraphernalia.**

Restaurateur Albert: I hope you're right.

Restaurateur Frederick: 'Course I'm right! It's ele-MANITARY, my dear Watson!

Both laugh uproariously, toss back SANITARY BELTS.


**Disclaimer: No hand towels were injured in the writing of this post.

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

anna see August 27, 2012 at 9:21 pm

oh my. they certainly made a wise decision.


Alexandra August 27, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Sanitary belts.
Hooboy, Dusty…how we could be sitting together right now, laughing out loud and slapping our thighs and just go crazy with the possibilities.
Sanitary belts.
Oh, you got me good.


Nancy Davis Kho August 28, 2012 at 6:40 am

This reminds me of all the pictures I’ve seen of white, male, >60 y.o. politicians signing important legislature about women’s reproductive rights. Because those are exactly the guys you want making those decisions. I’d like to give them a Sanitary Belt.


Nancy Franson August 28, 2012 at 7:39 am

Yes. I’m fairly certain that’s exactly how the conversation went down.
Sanitary belts. Sheesh. Haven’t thought about those in years.
For very good reason.


dusty earth mother August 28, 2012 at 10:32 am

So wise, right? Nice to see you here, Anna!


dusty earth mother August 28, 2012 at 10:33 am

We could hang together, toss back some sanitary belts and just laugh. What a dreamy thought.


dusty earth mother August 28, 2012 at 10:34 am

I think this is a timely post, wouldnt you say, The Nancy Kho?


dusty earth mother August 28, 2012 at 10:35 am

So glad I could bring back such a pleasant memory for you. Youre welcome. :-)


Delfin Joaquin Paris III August 28, 2012 at 11:54 am

After the success of their first tavern “Spotting Bar” – they know what they are doing.


Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom August 28, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Funny from all the way back in 1938. Dusty, you are the Queen of Period Humor!


dusty earth mother August 28, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Oh, my dear DJ…. yes.


dusty earth mother August 28, 2012 at 5:44 pm

A dubious distinction, Linda, but Ill take it! :-)


Tomekha August 29, 2012 at 11:38 am

LOL ROTFL … You crack me up!!!! smh lol


dusty earth mother August 29, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Thanks, girl. But am I an idiot or just really unhip? Whats smh?


Tomekha August 30, 2012 at 5:00 am

LOL :) SMH means Shake My head


Jenners August 30, 2012 at 5:54 pm

You = Comic genius


dusty earth mother August 30, 2012 at 7:15 pm

My dear girl. :-)


Sandy Shoes March 24, 2014 at 7:22 pm

I just found your site a few weeks ago and have been playing catch up, when I saw this, I about died! I could have walked down the street and met you in person. If you come back to Morehead City, give me a shout!


dusty earth mother March 24, 2014 at 8:46 pm

Oh, Sandy! You live in MC? My half-sister lives there so we go down on a fairly regular basis. We must meet!


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