Cha-CHING!

by Shari on December 14, 2011

Screen shot 2011-12-14 at 12.01.32 PM
The boy made up a song yesterday.

"OHHHHH… Daddy loves Red Sox, Mommy loves pugs, Sister loves kitties, I love Michael Jackson… OHHHH, Grandma loves Bingo, Wowo loves babies, Yaya loves cooking, Auntie Dan loves water parks….OHHHH…"

And on and on and on. All the people he knows and what he knows that they love. I was smiling and enjoying the ride, until we got to this:

"OHHH… Miss Sonya loves Cha-CHING!"

Miss Sonya is his kindergarten teacher. *

I was a bit taken aback (standing with mouth open and eyebrows scraping hairline). Miss Sonya loves Cha-CHING?

The questions started flooding my mind.

Did Miss Sonya say she loves Cha-CHING?

Does someone else say Miss Sonya loves Cha-CHING?

Did the mom who's collecting the money from all the parents for Miss Sonya's Christmas gift say that Miss Sonya loves Cha-CHING?

Does my son know what Cha-CHING means?

Did Miss Sonya tell her kindergarten class what Cha-CHING means?

Did Miss Sonya tell her kindergarten class to tell their parents while they are donating to Miss Sonya's Christmas gift to remember that Miss Sonya loves Cha-CHING?

I gathered myself and sucked it up into "wise mother who handles delicate issues with aplomb" mode.

"Honey? Who told you that Miss Sonya loves Cha-CHING?"

He looked at me, a bit miffed. Thinking it was because I had interrupted the fifteenth verse of his song–"OHHH, Schilling loves his own poop–", I hastened to explain the moral weight of my question with this bon mot:

"Because, uh, that's, like, uh, probably not a cool thing to say about someone."

He replied slowly, with some 'tude. "Mommy. TEA-CHING. Miss Sonya loves TEACHING. What's Cha-CHING?"

Hmmm.

It's times like these that a mother finds herself feeling inadequate for the job. She not only has to explain her limited and daily decreasing hearing ability and her immediate suspicion and cynicism about her child's present heroine, she also has to go all hip and urban and define "Cha-CHING" for her 6-year old and why singing that someone loves it, uh, might not be, uh, a cool thing to do.

So I said, "Well, honey, I was only concerned because in the Bible, in 1 Timothy 6:10, it says that "the love of Cha-CHING is a root of all kinds of evil."

No. I didn't say that. That would have been a good one, right?

I said, "I'll tell you after snacktime." Because I knew he'd forget by then.

Welcome to another Blue Ribbon Mothering Moment.

*********

*Miss Sonya is not her real name because I'm not stupid.

 

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Nancy December 14, 2011 at 9:51 am

I love this post. SO funny. You should publish it somewhere where it can make you some cha-ching

Reply

dusty earth mother December 14, 2011 at 10:12 am

Ha! More layers to the cha-CHING onion.

Reply

Tonya December 14, 2011 at 11:23 am

Awesome! Cha-ching…that could really catch on. Maybe Miss Sonya could adopt that phrase the way the gay community has taken back ‘queer’ or feminists have taken back ‘broad’?

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dusty earth mother December 14, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Now theres a thought, Tonya. It was awesome meeting you by the way, Broad. :-)

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Diana December 14, 2011 at 3:46 pm

I’m here cackling at you because I had one of those very moments myself this morning. Pats & Lion were waiting for the plane and Pats said
“Chunk has a big ass”
in a very loud voice. I whipped around and hissed
“WHAT?!”
in my best scary mommy voice.
He looked at me, held up the toy and said
“I SAID, Chunk has a big AX”
I just shook my head and put my earbuds back in so I didn’t have to have that very same awkward mommy moment you had…

Reply

Tracie December 14, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I will tell you after snack time is the reason explanation I give for so many things.

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dusty earth mother December 14, 2011 at 4:19 pm

HA HA! Chalk it up to Overly Sensitive Mommy Ears.

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dusty earth mother December 14, 2011 at 4:20 pm

After snacktime is the perfect lost wasteland.

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Marinka December 15, 2011 at 5:21 am

She loves TEACHING? That’s even more disturbing.
So, so funny!

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dusty earth mother December 15, 2011 at 7:03 am

You make a great point, Marinka. As always. Guess thats why youre on Babbles Top 100 Blogs List! Check her out, everybody!

Reply

Jenners December 15, 2011 at 8:53 am

Hee hee hee.

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Trickiewoo December 15, 2011 at 11:01 am

We’re in trouble when they no longer have memories like goldfish.

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dusty earth mother December 15, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Or memories like their mothers. What?

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Anna Lefler December 16, 2011 at 7:15 am

Oh, our teachers definitely love cha-CHING. It’s no secret.
They also love argyle, balloon animals and that yogurt with the oily fruit bits on the bottom.
Wait, what?
XO
A.

Reply

Lady Jennie December 16, 2011 at 9:09 am

Sigh – this just made me laugh. :-)

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Alexandra December 16, 2011 at 12:41 pm

We’re losing our hearing, Dusty.
It’s only going to get more entertaining.
Last week, Baby E was coloring and I HEARD THIS: “can’t wait till Xavier gets his ass destroyed.”
Uh Say WHAAAAAAT? little boy?
I said…
I know…and come in the back room so I can talk to you because we don’t say ASS. Or that you want your brother’s ASS kicked.
MOM? I wouldn’t talk like that.
Oh.right. you wouldn’t. what did you say?
HIS ASTEROID. I CAN”T WAIT TILL XAVIER GETS HIS LEGO ASTEROID THAT HE REALLY WANTS AND I WILL TALK THIS LOUD FROM NOW ON BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING DEAF, MOM AND YOUR HAIR ISN’T EVEN GRAY YET.

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dusty earth mother December 16, 2011 at 1:17 pm

asteroid, ass destroyed. That is BEAUTIFUL.

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