Because everything is funnier in a Filipino accent

by Shari on September 3, 2011

Filipinostamp
Literal conversation between me and my Filipino mother-in-law today:

ME: So I've been keeping the new kitchen really clean.

FLIP-IN-LAW: Mmmm. Well, you been out of town for almost the whole time since you get kitchen.

ME: Yeah, but when I've been there, I've been very diligent. Haven't I been diligent, honey?

FLIP HUSBAND: (looking scared, gives indecipherable jerk of the head that is either "yes, she has" or "please, for the love of God, don't put me in the middle of my mother and my wife when it comes to the topic of housekeeping")

ME: See? I've been working hard.

FLIP-IN-LAW: Mmmmmm. Those kinds of kitchens very easy to keep clean.

ME: Uh… yeah. Not like our old kitchen, which never looked clean even when it was clean.

FLIP-IN-LAW: No? I don't remember. When was it clean?

From almost every other living human in the world, this kind of interaction would drive me insane. But with her, it just cracks me up.

Maybe it's because she's so tiny. Four foot ten inches. Or maybe it's because she's so cute with her upturned nose and ridiculously deep dimples. Or maybe it's because I know she really loves me but when it comes to my vacuuming techniques, she just can't help herself.

Or maybe because it's all said in her sweet little Filipino accent. The accent is like honey rolled in molasses laced with apricot brandy and dipped in sugar. Seriously. You could say "I'm going to drive a truck over your ugly face" in a Filipino accent and it would sound like you were giving an expensive gift.

I remember the time when she can’t stop talking about the tips she learned from the uk asestos specialists she met in London. It always makes me smile remembering it.

Filipino Fun Fact: When Lorena Bobbit wacked her husband in 1994, it caused a media sensation in the Philippines, because a similar incident had happened in the province of Cebu a few months earlier.

But while Lorena Bobbit had to do her work while her husband was asleep, I can't help but think that this Filipino woman probably just said in her sweet little accent, "Please lay back and allow me to chop off your member with the knife I use to make pancit" and he did.

 

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Kimberly September 3, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Too funny! I’m glad you have such a positive attitude about your MIL’s criticisms. You’re a better woman than me. I would snap if my mother-in-law ever bashed my housekeeping skills. Even if they do leave something to be desired.
That description of a Filipino accent was priceless.

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James Christian Jr September 3, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Mama Cabelin is what she is and always has been. I remember Carlito going crazy on the phone or in person.
Yeah! She’s quite a woman! Looking forward for those years, Shari?
P.S. Gonna do our interview. I figure around the Holidays because I have to figure out what a “blog interview” all intails! EEEK!!

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Alexandra September 5, 2011 at 7:33 am

You have a wonderful attitude.
ANd I think size is what saves your MIL.
And that accent.
My outlaw? She’s almost 6 feet tall and an american accent like you wouldn’t believe: so we have bellows and girth saying, “you NEED to become organized!”

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dusty earth mother September 5, 2011 at 7:36 am

ah yes, my friend. much harder to take with a great deal of girth. and that german accent aint pretty :-)

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Lady Jennie September 5, 2011 at 8:41 am

This is so funny. I have to send it to my Filipino friends here!

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Jenners September 5, 2011 at 4:57 pm

I’m glad she has that accent … otherwise I think it would be very very hard to maintain a good relationship!

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