This yearbook photo recently surfaced on Facebook and I thought I should clarify a few things.
1. No, Look Into The Sun Until You Go Blind Blond was not my natural color.
2. Yes, I am bleached, permed and curled with a 999 degree curling iron. Yes, all my hair fell out moments after this photograph was taken.
3. No one looked good in 1979. No one.
4. Yes, I am wearing a mum on one lapel and a candy bow on the other. In case you did not come of age in the '70's in Illinois, one always received a mum and a candy bow on one's 16th birthday. If you didn't, it was obvious that you were a loser who listened to The Bay City Rollers.
5. Yes, I was 95 pounds even though I ate four servings of cafeteria pizza daily. I burned off all the calories by angsting over who I loved more, Tim who played Jesus in "Godspell" or Paul who played Pippin. In "Pippin", duh? "Corner of the Sky"?
6. Yes, it does say "Shari Simpson, Superstar" above the picture. No, I did not write that myself. But yes, I did agree.