Blonder! Make Me Blonder!

by Shari on March 17, 2011

Screen shot 2011-03-17 at 10.06.38 PM

This yearbook photo recently surfaced on Facebook and I thought I should clarify a few things.

1. No, Look Into The Sun Until You Go Blind Blond was not my natural color.

2. Yes, I am bleached, permed and curled with a 999 degree curling iron. Yes, all my hair fell out moments after this photograph was taken.

3. No one looked good in 1979. No one.

4. Yes, I am wearing a mum on one lapel and a candy bow on the other. In case you did not come of age in the '70's in Illinois, one always received a mum and a candy bow on one's 16th birthday. If you didn't, it was obvious that you were a loser who listened to The Bay City Rollers.

5. Yes, I was 95 pounds even though I ate four servings of cafeteria pizza daily. I burned off all the calories by angsting over who I loved more, Tim who played Jesus in "Godspell" or Paul who played Pippin. In "Pippin", duh? "Corner of the Sky"?

6. Yes, it does say "Shari Simpson, Superstar" above the picture. No, I did not write that myself. But yes, I did agree.

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Tracie March 17, 2011 at 8:51 pm

Is a candy bow made out of real candy? Because I might just wear one of those right now if it has chocolate that I could eat!

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MAMA ROSE March 17, 2011 at 9:00 pm

HEY HONEY – THAT’S THE WAY I REMEMBER YOU. BLONDE AND CUTER THAN CUTE.
MY BABY!!!!
LUV YA
MAMA ROSE

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Renee March 17, 2011 at 9:23 pm

What a great picture. And so brave of you to share with us! It’s a good picture though- no plaid or crochet in site. Unlike my 70′s pictures.

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Heather H March 17, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Hmmm…I graduated in the 90s, and this picture would fit in with the others in my yearbook. ‘Cept we didn’t give flowers & candy on the 16th birthday. But otherwise…
I never would have guessed this was from the 70s! Very cute!

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Cindi Hartman March 18, 2011 at 6:46 am

I checked and yes, pictures from back then were terrifying — although I didn’t hit my bad-hair stride until 1980 — I still had Morticia Adams hair when I was 16. Sigh. I’m guessing mums were a south-side thing — on the north side, you got a small semi-formal luncheon with your relatives and a couple dozen of your schoolfriends, with some sort of organized entertaiment — mine was a handwriting analyst/fortune-teller. I would have preferred a mum! (We only got mums for homecoming dances.)

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dusty earth mother March 18, 2011 at 7:47 am

You kinda still had Morticia Adams hair in college, didnt you? :-)

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dusty earth mother March 18, 2011 at 9:28 am

As a matter of fact, it has long strands with candy attached all the way down. Mmmm… the memory…

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dusty earth mother March 18, 2011 at 9:32 am

Im pretty sure my pants were crocheted, Renee; you just cant see them in that picture.

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Diana March 18, 2011 at 10:44 am

As a former bottle white/blonde who attempted a perm not once but twice and then overused her crimping iron I can totally relate to this post. I think my hair is still mad at me…

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Cindi Hartman March 18, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Re the Morticia Adams hair in college: the first few years, yes, then cut it all off. When we graduated, I had something similar to a Dorothy Hamill bob. Kept cutting and cutting the next few years until I was almost G.I. Jane. Fortunately, it grew back. Unfortunately, it grew back gray.

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Jenners March 18, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Oh I am loving this!! You are one brave lady! And I’m glad your hair recovered from that torture.

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mep March 18, 2011 at 7:55 pm

That lovely, warm, genuine smile is going to make you look good in any picture. Ain’t no lie.
I used to be blonde, naturally and then unnaturally. Now, I’m almost all gray and thus get all-over-color in a dark brown and some highlights. I’m thinking of going back to blond though, thinking it might be easier to disguise the gray. I continue to think of myself as a blonde (not in a ditzy blonde way) and am sometimes surprised to see pictures of myself with decidedly non-blonde hair. I guess I could just make a wreath of mums instead? I do live in Illinois, after all.

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Alexandra March 18, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Well, I think you are GORGEOUS!

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dusty earth mother March 19, 2011 at 8:57 am

xxxoooo

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Trickiewoo March 19, 2011 at 5:19 pm

So cute!!!

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"Auntie" Pete March 19, 2011 at 6:02 pm

You have always been beautiful, even with blonder than blonde curly hair. And you were a SUPER STAR!

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Lady Jennie March 19, 2011 at 11:44 pm

I love it I love it! But you know you were cool in that picture, right?

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Olivia March 21, 2011 at 10:04 am

Well, I looked good on 1979, but I was only 1 yr old :P

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Ann's Rants March 28, 2011 at 7:49 am

I love this. You, this.

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dusty earth mother March 28, 2011 at 9:26 am

And you know I love you right back. Hey, are you still speaking on adapting your writing for the stage at BlogHer? I didnt see it on the agenda.

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Nancy February 7, 2012 at 12:56 pm

OK, so when I typed in the name of your blog this is the post that came up. I was going to catch up on new posts…but honestly: this is AWESOME. And no one did look good in 1979. Except Farrah.

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dusty earth mother February 7, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Yes, my darling! except for Farrah, indeed. And trust me, I werent no Farrah.

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