As Seen on TV. On Some Other Planet.

by Shari on October 6, 2010

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In all my 40(cough) years, I have never once succumbed to purchasing something that I've Seen On TV. Not once. I am morally opposed to that box telling me I need the Fushigi Magic Gravity Ball or The Ab Rocket.

So when I found myself with a four-inch rip in my leather couch, I turned to my pal Google for answers. There was a host of Leather Repair Kit sites, but they all ranged around $60 and if I'm going to spend sixty bucks on something, it had better come in a bottle with a cork.

But there was one kit that cost $14.95. The "As Seen on TV" Liquid Leather Leather & Vinyl Repair Kit.

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This was the product plug: The Vinyl and Leather Kit has been used by major auto assembly plants, and hundreds of people for many years.

Wow! Hundreds of people for many years?! Where's my credit card?!

Even so, I succumbed to that low low price of $34.95 (What? Who can resist a package deal of Liquid Leather and LifTight Face Lift Cream?) and in a matter of days, I had my product delivered to my door in a big splashy AS SEEN ON TV! box, forever lowering my mail carrier's opinion of me.

I opened the box and even though the contents resembled a paint-by-numbers kit for the Red Hat Society set, I was willing to give it a shot. Soon enough, my couch would be "replaced to like new condition!"

This was three weeks ago.

I've been a little busy.

B.I.O.T.B.(Blame It On The Blog).

This morning, the husband and I had a bit of a tiff. Yes, it was my fault. And because you all know that a nicely repaired couch cushion would be the equivalent of flowers, candy and a groveling on my knees apology in my husband's eyes, I decided to pull out the Liquid Leather.

The product description had assured me that I could "repair rips, tears, holes and burns in minutes!" and they were right. In 86 minutes, I had a pencil-eraser-sized part of that four-inch rip repaired. I figure if I devote just a few hours a day, I should have the couch cushion "replaced to like new condition!" by Thanksgiving.

Luckily, my husband is a forgiving man. He saw the amount of Liquid Leather permanently affixed to my fingers and the frustrated look on my LifTight-ed face and he gave me a hug of appreciation.

Just wait til he sees my taut tummy after 86 months of using The Ab Rocket.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Freakmom October 6, 2010 at 7:12 pm

We used to be (in pre-kid days when we were young and carefree) addicted to as seen on TV products. I used to get the Mr. something cheesy every year for his birthday. I still gaze lovingly at the gadgets when I see them in the stores.
I found your site from AmiMental’s.

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dusty earth mother October 6, 2010 at 7:21 pm

Thanks for stopping by. And how much do I love FreakMom?

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Diana October 6, 2010 at 7:42 pm

I say crazy glue the rip together or do a Frankenstein style repair job and throw a blanket over it. Those of us who’s butts have the pleasure of gracing that couch know you well enough to forgive a rip in your sofa…

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dusty earth mother October 6, 2010 at 7:45 pm

Always happy to have your butt grace my couch, D.

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Minnesota Mamaleh October 6, 2010 at 10:40 pm

lol at least you *tried* to repair something! that’s worth that hug and a swig of that wine, isn’t it?! love the read, found you through scary mommy! :)

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dusty earth mother October 7, 2010 at 4:21 am

Thanks, MMamaleh! Hey, I spent some time in Minnesota, a play that I wrote was performed at the Ordway Theater, love your town. And thanks for stopping by, please come back!

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Jenners October 7, 2010 at 5:08 pm

What???!!! Are you saying it didn’t work like it said? But that was AS SEEN ON TV!! Color me SHOCKED!

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dusty earth mother October 7, 2010 at 5:21 pm

oh, Jenners, how I do love you. Color me HAPPY to hear your virtual voice.

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Carrie October 7, 2010 at 6:46 pm

B.I.O.T.B! I have got to use that! Speaking of using your sayings, my almost fourteen year old boy and I were digging up weed roots that had super powers yesterday. As he was struggling with one, he yelled out “Balls 8-10″! I kid you not! It was great.

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dusty earth mother October 7, 2010 at 7:27 pm

Oh, Carrie, that made my whole day! Seriously, I just laughed out loud. Thank you, mama!

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Alexandra October 8, 2010 at 5:40 am

See how sweet you are???
You believe commercials.
Oh, to still be that innocent.
No wonder he adores you…

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Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip October 13, 2010 at 8:39 pm

BIOTB. I am TOTALLY stealing that one. And oh yeah? The ab rocket? I think it may have caused me to gain 10 pounds. No really.

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gramma rose October 24, 2010 at 2:26 pm

such a good girl – taking after your ma.
luva ya honey – also love the kid
balls 8-10 to you too

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gramma rose October 24, 2010 at 2:28 pm

hey!!! leave the red hat girls alone – i am
their spokesperson.

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