Romantic Threesome: Me, My Husband And His Itinerary

by Shari on September 22, 2010

This is the fantastically gorgeous Mohonk Mountain House where I just spent a romantic few days with my dear husband. And I was reminded of a particular quirk in my husband's nature, which, of course, I will now share with the world (with his permission).

The man gets all hot and stirred up by organization. Give that man an itinerary and you've got a lean, mean, lovemaking machine.

Here are my husband Top 3 Turn-Ons:

1.  A schedule. All I have to do is whisper "So what's on the agenda for 11 and 11:15 am tomorrow?" and he begins to salivate.

2.  A clean kitchen. If I've done the dishes and mopped the floor, I'm gettin' lucky that night. Extra caresses for making sure all the containers in the refrigerator are properly sealed.

3.  A good parallel-parking job.  If I have only an inch between me and the cars in front of and behind me and have not scratched the fender, Dude gets all worked up.

Listen, guys. I'm not even remotely kidding about any of this. If I'm in the mood for romance, I'll circle around the neighborhood, looking for the tightest parking I can find, then come home and re-seal all the tupperware.

So Sunday, we're driving to our romantic getaway, and he's talking about all the things we're going to do.

"We'll sleep in 'til 9, then get up and do our Bible studies on the veranda, then at 11am we'll go for a moderate hike around the lake, then at 12 we'll go in the mineral pool until 1:15, when we go in to lunch…"

And as he's talking, he's getting more and more turned on. I can see that we'll be lucky to make it to the room. We may just have our getaway in the car in the lodge's parking lot.

On Monday night, we were sitting out on our veranda, looking out at the view. The lodge is snugly nestled in the Shawangunk Ridge, with Mohonk Lake like a little pool in the bottom of the ring of mountains.

He waxes rhapsodic. "Wow, look at this! The mountains and the lake and the moon and the Lodge, all so… so…"

So what? So romantic? So beautiful? So pristine? What?

He continues, "It's all so… well-contained."

And then he promptly jumped my bones.

This is life with my darling. I love him to death. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go print out our itinerary for tonight. Dinner, homework, feed the dogs, do dishes…Oooh, yeah, baby…

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

kneesandpaws September 22, 2010 at 11:01 am

Its 2:00 pm, and I forgot to schedule in laughter! thank goodness I read your blog today:)

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Carrie September 22, 2010 at 4:19 pm

Oh no! I might be your husband! I love a schedule, love, love when the things around me are organzied, and nice, tidy endings to all my movies. It drives Rian crazy. A schedule to him, makes him feel like he is having less fun.

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Miss Welcome September 23, 2010 at 2:38 am

I was laughing before I even read the article.

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lostinthechaos September 23, 2010 at 11:16 am

What if getting lucky throws off the other items on your schedules and then he gets all distracted rescheduling? Youre going to need a bigger calendar.

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Jenners September 23, 2010 at 12:05 pm

But what if nookie isnt scheduled? What happens then?This was so funny. I loved it.

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Mrs.Mayhem September 23, 2010 at 3:10 pm

Have you tried scheduling some time to organize?? That might lead to an extra special evening!

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Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip October 5, 2010 at 9:00 pm

Hilarious. I wish I could get more organized because organization totally turns me on as well. But unfortunately, I’m about as organized as a two-year-old. In fact, I think I’ve known several two-year-olds who are far more organized than me. And as for sealing the tupperware? I just spilled an entire strawbery smoothie on my feet this afternoon because I stuck one in the fridge on the bottom shelf without any lid AT ALL. Whatever was I thinking???

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shop taobao November 16, 2010 at 6:48 pm

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