What My CVS Pharmacist Must Be Thinking Right Now

by Shari on January 29, 2010

As life lessons go, this one falls squarely under the category of "Learning not to care what others think of you".

As you may or may not know, my pug is epileptic. This is a new diagnosis, only a month old, so we're still adjusting to having a small furry family member on a serious dose of meds. He is taking phenobarbital, which is what they give human epileptics. It's just about time for his first refill, so I called the pug neurologist (who is over an hour away–do I love my dog or what?) and asked if this could be refilled at the CVS near me. They said they would call in a prescription for me.

So I get to the CVS and the very handsome and young pharmacist asks me "What name?", which gives me pause. "Um… it's actually for my dog… he's a pug… would they have put it under his name?" We look for "Schilling" in the prescription bin. Nope. "Okay, they must have put it under my name". He takes out a prescription, checks the label, and gives me a very odd look. "That's a strange medication for a dog" says Handsome Pharm. I laugh charmingly and agree, deciding not to go into a long story about how I'm a comedy writer and having my pug be epileptic is comedy gold, because that just sounds cruel if you don't know me. (Hmm. That actually sounds cruel even if you do know me. Oh, well.) He shakes his head, says, "O-kay" and rings it up.

I get home and look at the prescription.

Ocella.

Birth control pills.

I forgot that the CVS automatically refills and I was due to pick up my prescription. So my CVS pharmacist thinks that my male pug dog is on birth control pills.

And this is where I end. I cannot begin to allow myself to imagine what went through that man's mind, because if I do, I will have to go back and 'splain myself, which can only result in me regressing in my long, long journey of not caring what others think of me.

Besides, you gotta admit, this is comedy gold.

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